Lately we had a lot of melt downs, tantrums or whatever you want to call them. I thought we got over the terrible 2’s but there must be terrible 3’s too or Matthew missed the terrible 2’s. Either way his behaviour has become very bad and I have now introduced a proper time out.
Prior to that it used to be just our swivel chair in the living room and I turned him around, facing the wall and leave him there for a few minutes. Soon I realised that this has no effect on him anymore whatsoever. A different method had to be found.
In the past before I had children I watched a lot of Super Nanny. In fact I probably have seen all episodes/seasons. Before continuing on, it is completely up to every parent what way you discipline your children. Some things Jo Frost said in her show are very efficient in my opinion and have worked for Matthew.
1. The Naught Step
Many parents use this technique these days. If your child misbehaved or broke one of the rules (if you put any in place), place them on the naughty step. In our house it is the step in the hall way. When you do this, make sure you explain, why you have placed them there and how long they are going to be sitting there for. A good idea is to put them on the step for the minutes of their age. For example, Matthew is 3 years old so will be sitting on it for 3 minutes.
If your child decides to get up, simply sit them back down gently but firmly until they understood. Once I have explained to Matthew the first time, I don’t explain it anymore and just keep placing him there until he gets it without saying anything. After 3 minutes I get back them and go down on the same level and explained to him why he was sitting there and ask him what he has to say. He says “sorry” then, gives me a hug and continues playing.
2. Out and About
I am usually in town on my own or with Chloe. It can be quite daunting sometimes dealing with Matthew in public because he never wants to hold hands or just wanders off. Now that he is 3 years of age, I don’t want him to be in the buggy too much and want him to understand that it is ok to walk in town without running away on me or keep walking ahead as it can be dangerous with cars beside the foot path for example. I have come across a rule on the Supper Nanny website that could be working for him.
Explain to them that you are going out on a fun walk or a browse in town and they are free to walk beside you without any running or wandering away. Keep letting them know what you are doing, where you are going and what comes next. If they start walking further ahead of you and you think it is too far say”stop”. Praising is a must if they react to your commands. If they don’t behave, you have to tell them they have to hold hands for 3 minutes (again each minute for their age) or the handle of the buggy, if out with the baby as well. This is handy way of having “time out ” when out and about.
3. Reward Chart
We want to think about the good sides too and not just discipline that can be put into place. Why not have a reward chart every time your child has done something amazing. For example, if you are in the middle of potty training (we still haven’t started argh!!) and your child has done a poo or wee wee reward them with a star. Tell them what they are working for when they reached 10 stars.
There are brilliant rewards charts on Super Nanny’s website you can download from the age of 3 to 5 years. Simply click on this link to download the one you prefer.
Do you have any house rules in your house or any of these in place even? Did they work you?
These are great tips – I do all three of them myself. Our naughty step is the bottom step of the stairs as well. The sticker chart is such a great way to reward kids for good behaviour. x
We have the naughty step although N’s only been on it about 5 times so far. It works well because it really does make them think about things.
Reward charts we do have to try and encourage him to do things off his own back – at the moment getting dressed without moaning/on his own because he’s really lazy and would stay in pjs, and wiping his bottom – he can do it, but just prefers to call me. But reward charts don’t seem to really persuade N to do the things, he’s just not that bothered by being rewarded – even though he really wants a toy chain saw which is what he asked for (plus a pack of sweets/chocolate if he gets a line of stickers – when he got a line I asked him if he wanted to go to the shop to get his reward and he said no!)
We always used the naughty step with the children we looked after as it was the most effective method to get them to understand how discipline works.
We use the naughty step.. or more like threaten with the naughty step. She rarely goes on as a mention of the naughty step freaks her out and she will do what we’re asking. We tried reward charts but they didn’t work for some reason! x
Like the idea of time out while out! Holding hands or the buggy is totally doable unlike some other things I have seen/read!! Also like the reward charts. Thank you 🙂 x
We did reward charts for potty training and they are a must in the early days. Make sure to have plenty of stickers to hand. I tried the naughty step but I’m trying a less drastic approach to discipline to start with. Using it as a last ditch attempt. It comes after my “mommy voice” if I need to use that.
I think the naughty step can be great if used correctly. It’s always hard with discipline I think because so many parents have so many different views. But I think you have written a lovely post on it. I also think the reward chart is brilliant xx
little J is so well behaved so we haven’t had to use anything at the moment. I’m sure now we are in the terrible twos that will change
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You are lucky so. Matthew gets away with too much to be honest.
We use the naughty step and even when we are out and about. Usually the threat of it is enough to be honest as my son is fairly well behaved.